I now know what is my disposstion in his life. TO be there and act as manly and womanly at the same time.

I don’t know how long my body will last long, I feel tired and dead. I am very very to sensitive to all utters and makes me feel dumb and numb.

I have to let go of this or I would lost my mind, for I can’t take it anymore. This life is full of unfairs and grief.