Now that they are gone, I am happy but same goes as still irritated. Yes they are gone but what’s the use of text, chat, emails and calls which I cannot watch directly. They are not my enemy but still I would say keep your enemies closer.

Still there are worries. They could chat all day which I cannot monitor and knows the topic, even though he doesn’t make serious some of their deeper conversation (I’m not sure if he is serious or not at sobra naman kung makisabay) still I consider that as not an excuse. He has feelings and could likewise stumble. He could be tempted to appealing gestures of others too. More and more those girls are wise and competing with me as if nothing competes.

If that is the scenario, I am a complete loser, I can’t play the game they are playing. I can’t compete to win his attention because I know I have his attention. But what do they do? they get his attention and leaving me behind, who am I? and what am I to him? Don’t they get that?….don’t they know what circle-of-friend term is? And what do I do? Just keep in silence and just clamor to him without them knowing what is happening to us both. If you could just read their chats you readers could understand why I had overreacted and wanted to end the relationship. But wait stop! ending the relationship is a complete mess. I know I am really hurt and its not jealousy anymore, I can’t frankly say in front of them why do they act that way, as I am doing just still understanding the situation because they do not know what is the real score between us (Don’t they really know?). There are lots of scenarios wherein as if they are more than friends or best friends. All I could comment to there actions is “unrecognizable flirting character”. And to him always pawala. I know he has that feeling about the girls that they do also like him.

I admit I am really selfish with his attention because I just hate them for they do grab his attention always. Maybe right now they could possible chat without me knowing. I am judgeful to them because they need to be judge.

I am acting this way for I just love him very much! and he is only mine and no one is between us. No third parties just us both.